Year of the Dogs!
Hello again, pups! It’s your canine buddies Blanche and Stella here, but today you can call us The Great & Powerful Blanche and The Mystical Stella, because we are trying our hand at predicting your future! Now, I am a Taurus, and your girl Stella is a Pisces, and we realized we were both powerful psychics recently when we predicted exactly when our next meal was coming (Spoiler Alert: It was right after we stood next to our food bowls chanting spiritually for about five minutes. Or howling, as it often sounds to humans). Also, our tails can ALWAYS tell when it’s raining, so you know you’re in good hands!
LEO (July 23-August 22)
You Leo babies are creative, generous, and warm-hearted at your best, but be careful of your arrogance and laziness. This month, focus on sharing your toys, and try not to always make yourself the center of attention. We know you’re a born diva, but try to reign in the drama just a little! If you can do this, Stella and I predict an extra special birthday treat or outing for you this month.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22)
The Virgo canine is loyal and hardworking. You despise mess, so your crate is always clean, which your humans appreciate. Beware of your anxiety and shyness. Next time you are at the dog park, make an effort to be more social, and we predict you will be a howling success with some fabulous new friends who will help you come out of your shell!
LIBRA (September 23-October 22)
Dear Libra-doodles! You tend to be cooperative and fair. You are social butterflies that do well in big groups. Libra dogs are diplomatic, so keep on breaking up fights at the dog park. But remember, you do have a tendency to apologize too much, so stand up for yourself this month. Get out in the sun and be happy instead of staying home making puppy dog eyes at your human!
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)
The typical Scorpio doggo is brave and passionate. You long to run loose through open fields, but you do have a bit of a stubbornness problem when it’s time to come inside. Try to curb your jealous nature this month. If you don’t, be wary of your less friendly side coming out. Also, don’t be so secretive, your humans don’t love it when you hide the remote control!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
Sagittarians are idealists. Nothing gets you down. You can be quite the pranksters, as you have a great sense of humor. It’s a good thing you can make your humans laugh, especially when they turn their backs and you steal their sandwiches off the counter! You are friendly and fun, but you can be on the impatient side (hence the sandwich stealing). Quiet your impatience this month, and we foresee many extra sandwiches just for you.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)
You cool Capricorns truly do have your ducks in a row. You are disciplined and responsible and your self-control is unparalleled. You can also be pretty darn sneaky when you want to be, and you love to play dumb when you get caught. You can be a bit of a know-it-all, which gets a bit annoying in social situations, especially since you’re so LOUD when you get excited. Try to work on being considerate of others this month. If you do, we see ALL of the belly rubs in your future!
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
Oh, the Aquarius Canine! You are the hippest of dogs. Aloof on the outside, you march to the beat of your own drum. You are independent, and you don’t broadcast every emotion you have. You are a true original, but you can come off as cold at times. Those close to you know better. Underneath it all, you’re really a softy, and you always have great advice to give on the best spots to bury bones or bask in the sun. Try to show your softer side a bit more this month!
PISCES (February 19-March 20)
According to Stella, the resident Pisces, you guys have nothing but good qualities. You are compassionate, wise, artistic and gentle souls who can do no wrong. Pisces pups can occasionally have a bit of a dark side, however. You are cunning and capable of stealing a treat right out from under your siblings who might be a little bit easily distracted. Maybe that’s just STELLA, though *cough cough*. I foresee peace and harmony if you STOP DOING THIS IMMEDIATELY, STELLA.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Aries, dogs of war! Well, maybe not war war, but you are certainly courageous, determined, and confident in most every situation. You are eternal optimists who always know your next treat is imminent, so your enthusiasm for life is abundant. You can get a little more moody than most, however, and your impulsive nature can get you into some sticky situations, often literally. Before you jump headfirst into a pond, make sure to check for piranhas!
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
We Taureans are obviously perfect in every way if I do say so myself! Ok, maybe sometimes we lose our chill a little bit, but we are high on life, man! Maybe we can be a bit possessive, but it’s because we have so much love for our humans that we need to express it every minute of every day, OK?! Yes, we do need to go to the bathroom with our humans, WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL? Alright, we’ll work on it...But only because I foretell many, many new toys coming my way this month.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Geminis are gentle and affectionate. You are easily adaptable and always curious about everything and everyone. You listen more than you speak, a quality that is as prized as it is rare! However, you can sometimes be inconsistent, indecisive, and nervous, which can irritate your humans sometimes. Try to be more clear about what you want and ear scratches will abound this month!
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Sweet Cancer babies. You read the emotional temperature of any room right away, and you’re the perfect little cuddlers. Don’t take on the weight of the world this month! It adds to your moody and pessimistic side, and nobody wants that! Just be your smart, loyal self and don’t let anyone get you down. You deserve all the cuddles in the world, my sensitive Cancers, and you’re about to get them!
Until Mercury is out of retrograde, Pet Krewe believers! Namaste!
The Great & Powerful Blanche
The Mystical Stella