Hello doggie disciples! It is me: The Great and Powerful Blanche. Allow me to present your incredibly accurate July horoscopes. Ready? Ok… sit!
Cancer (June 21 -July 20)
Joyous birthday wishes to you Cancer canines this month! You’ll be bright, witty, yappy and full of energy and able to make progress with some vital goals. Lately, you may have been feeling as if each time you try and run forward, you slam headfirst into the neighbor’s fence. Ouch! Fear not, my four-legged friend, things will improve this month! Keep your ears perked and you may get some surprising advice from an experienced older dog.
Leo (July 21 – August 20)
Leo doggos will find that things will be very much the same as they were last month – just the good parts, though! You can look forward to long walks, longer naps, and endless fetch fun. The early part of the month will feature very loud overhead explosions, but don’t panic. Find a good spot under the bed and bury your head in a pile of laundry until its over.
Virgo (August 21 – September 20)
Virgo Doggos can expect a July that’s all treats and belly rubs. Lady Fortune will smile upon your furry face and even playfully urge you into a bit of rebellion. Push the envelope a little this month – maybe your human will let you sleep on their bed after all. Just hop up, flash that winning grin and act like you own the place. Just don’t pee on the sheets!
Libra (September 21 – October 20)
This month you may feel that everything in your life has come to a screeching halt at the first part of the month. With Mercury in retrograde, communication problems arise. It’s highly likely that your human will misinterpret your potty whine for your hunger whimper, so best to learn some puppy sign language. Just try to stay positive and things will improve.
Scorpio (October 21 – November 20)
Scorpio doggos will experience more ups and downs than a bouncing tennis ball. You’ll start out idealistic; life is a walk in the dog park. About mid month you could get nippy and anger the wrong pup. Never bite a dog you can’t outrun. A streak of good luck comes later on, and you end the month in an ugly scene with an important canine. Or perhaps an important scene with an ugly dog – probably a Chinese crested.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
The first half of this month will be pretty mellow; lots of BBQs and cooling off in pools and puddles. After that, things become more complicated. To take advantage of a new opportunity, you may have to give up some things that you hold dear like nap time or table scraps. Fortunately, you may be able to use your furry imagination to come up with some unique solutions. Or you may just decide to hop on a passing stroller or shopping cart and blow town to escape the whole thing! It’s up to you.
Capricorn (December 21 – January 20)
Capricorn canines will face some opposition for the first part of this month. In these dog days of summer you can either take these conflicts personally, or you can turn that snarl into a tail wag and see it as a learning experience. Everything should be peachy keen by month’s end, as long as you don’t hold a grudge. But that’s easier barked then done.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 20)
You will probably do something that angers an authority figure (like your human, your dog-sitter, or even the mail carrier) at the start of this month. And if you were any other sign, your goose would be cooked (Mmmm….. goose….). But you’ll probably still be in a good mood despite these conflicts and you’ll be so charming that nobody will be able to stay mad at you for long. You’re such a classic air sign, you probably won’t give a flying squirrel’s pattootie whatever happens anyway!
Pisces (February 20 – March 20)
This is a great month for Piscean puppers! For some of you it’s a time of insights and self-awareness. There could be a breakthrough in personal relationships. You may have a vision of the future. Some of you will be more organized and find things working out in your favor. And still more of you could have many opportunities coming your way, but the potential for changes to your everyday life are too risky. Don’t be such a wuss, be a man!
Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Expect significant material gains this month. A new chew toy, a fancy dog bed, or perhaps a sampler of the new summer line of Pet Krewe costumes! In any event, you will definitely increase your stash this patriotic month, but you will have no desire to share with others. Watch out for small annoyances which will pester you around the Full Moon on the 16th. Be sure to take your flea meds!
Taurus (April 21 – May 20)
You’re stubborn and slow to action, generally, but this month your creative juices can flow like a garden hose. This could indicate July means identity crises for Taurine pups. You may crave a change in appearance this month; Pet Krewe can help! Just remember that one doggo’s cutting edge fashion statement is another’s freak show. Ignore any judgmental looks or head cocked pug stares – be a star!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
On July 2 there is a new moon and total solar eclipse in moody, muddy pawed Cancer. Eclipses bring unexpected change and the new moon signals new beginnings. Change doesn't scare you; in fact, twin-signed puppers thrive on it! Take every opportunity at the dog park, vet clinic and July 4th picnic to meet new furry friends and go on adventures. It can be a great month for you, just remember to keep that water bowl full and have a cool tile floor to lay your belly on when it gets too hot.
Wishing All of You a Splendid July!
Peace & Paws,
Stella & Blanche
Missed last month's Pet Horoscope? Read it here!