Hello doggie disciples! It is me: The Great and Powerful Blanche. Allow me to present your incredibly accurate June horoscopes. Ready? Ok… sit!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Watery Neptune runs positively to twin-signed puppers this month. This is good for faith and dedication. Just be careful about being overly adamant about your wishes and be mindful of useless energy expenditures like going berserk at the mail carrier. I promise they will not break in, eat all your kibble and kidnap your human. So save your energy for things that really matter such as strutting your stuff at the dog park wearing the new summer line of Pet Krewe costumes!
Cancer (June 21 -July 20)
Cancer canines normally work with emotions. This month is a good time to focus on nagging feelings around jobs that need to be done. You have astrological support to think clearly about things, so don’t hesitate anymore. There’s a trick you haven’t quite gotten the hang of yet – NOW is the time to master it! A hole to the other side of the fence that’s incomplete – get back in there!
Leo (July 21 – August 20)
Leo doggos like to be inspired. This month is a good time to be motivated by what you would like to see accomplished on a large scale. You are likely to feel a surge of artistic inclinations. What kind of upgrades would you like to see in your kennel crate? Can you write your name in cursive on a fire hydrant? Will you ever record that album barking blues about the dog days of summer? Stick your snout in the wind, and let the creative breezes carry you away.
Virgo (August 21 – September 20)
Virgo Doggos are likely in store for some emotional conflicts and quarrels this month. Try not to take it personally when your human is too busy to play fetch with you and resist the urge to poop in the house or chew up their favorite pillow. You will be pleased to know that this situation will improve before the end of the month when the dog planet Pluto frolics freely across the cosmos.
Libra (September 21 – October 20)
This month there is great support from many heavenly bodies twirling around like gigantic space tennis balls. All that action will give some good insights, especially how important it is to go slow and be positive. Things will work out just fine. There’s no need to bark just because your neighbor does; and not ever stick was meant to be caught. Confucius say, one bone in bowl worth five squirrels in tree.
Scorpio (October 21 – November 20)
Passionate Scorpio doggos will be filled with energy and love this month. Therefore, be licky-affectionate and snuggly-kind but avoid unrealistic expectations; your human can’t be with you all day every day. Still, your stinging jealous nature means you can’t help feeling possessive, and your furry brain makes you snarl with control issues. The tension could give you difficulties with travel, or even legal affairs so avoid such matters until the end of the month, and never bite a lawyer!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
The first half of this month you may become more worldly-minded, especially in the matters of society and politics. This may even be your chance to run for office. Remember, what they say in the capitol – “If you want a true friend in Washington, get a dog.” Thankfully the planets pull you out of such a nasty business in the second half of the month. Stick to mud puddles and butt-sniffing; it’s actually less dirty.
Capricorn (December 21 – January 20)
Capricorn canines normally contemplate decisions deeply. This month, however Uranus is tugging at your choke chain to make you more impulsive. Resist that urge and make every effort to stay calm and cool as a floor covered with delicious spilt ice cubes. This conflict may lead to some emotional distress, but try not to get wrapped up in the doldrums. Recall what the cat astronomer asked the Dog Star – Why so Sirius?
Aquarius (January 21 – February 20)
The New Moon in your sign early in the month suggests that new beginnings are possible for you, meaning friendships, toys, and locations to leap and play and pee in. Tense Saturn then makes a move indicating that you falsely perceive multiple restrictions constraining your freedom. The leash, the collar, the fence – they are not limits! They are friendly boundaries that give your life structure. Embrace the Order of things, overcome your feelings of irritation and rebellion against the trappings of ownership and you will be set free!
Pisces (February 20 – March 20)
Piscean puppers are sensitive and introspective normally, and with this month’s planetary alignment, you are inspired and your mind will race in all sorts of positive directions. But don’t run yourself ragged; in fact, June is a good month to just slow down. Bliss out on the back porch and learn how to let energy flow through you without grasping it in your teeth. Not every squirrel needs chasing, not every Frisbee must be caught. Remember the great Zen teaching: “Does a dog have a Buddha nature? Woof.”
Aries (March 21 – April 20)
You are going through a major life transformation! Look back at the distance you have come in the last (seven) year(s); how many miles have you run, how many squirrels have you treed? Positioning of the dog-planet Pluto only pushes life changes further, but you may be at your limit! Be sure to give yourself some panting space. You won’t like feeling chained up and locked inside a tiny crate. This may manifest itself at home, so beware of domestic accidents and stick to the pee-pads!
Taurus (April 21 – May 20)
The influence of the Uranus/Pluto alignment is likely to have a profound effect on jointly owned property and shared resources like beds, bowls, and balls. Meanwhile, the influence of the tense Saturn finds you needing more freedom in your daily life, as you feel your leash shortening by the day. You have an urge to get out and about more and will feel quite stifled and irritable unless you are able to do so. Tell your human that they’re getting chubby and need to take long, long walks with you.
Wishing All of You a Splendid June!
Peace & Paws,
Stella & Blanche
Missed last month's Pet Horoscope? Read it here!