Pet Horoscope - May 2019
Hello doggie disciples! It is me: The Great and Powerful Blanche. Allow me to present your incredibly accurate May horoscopes. Ready? Ok… sit!
Taurus (April 21 – May 20)
Happy Birthday to the zodiac’s steadiest sign! Awareness is your key word for this upcoming year. Perked up ears and pointer paws, twitching whiskers and flared nostrils will guide your way. Humans and puppers and other critters will pop on the scene opening you up to whole new worlds of experience. That means travel is certainly in the cards for you this month, and there is much learning to be gained from those travels. Time to mark faraway pastures, sniff new butts, and welcome a springtime filled with vernal learning.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
This May the planets portend a new way of looking at resources and how to use them for you twin-souled puppers. Try something different this month with your canine currency. Is it sticks and balls in your house that carries the most value? Plush squeaky toys or rawhide bones? Whatever the case, try reevaluating what gives you the most joy and consider exchanging the other items for something more worthwhile. Confucius say, tennis ball in the mouth is worth three bones in the hole.
Cancer (June 21 -July 20)
May kicks off with a bang for Cancer canines. This could be the sound of cosmic conjunctions ushering in a month of good luck and order for you. This could also be the crystal vase thwacked off the table by your over-exuberant tail and hitting the ground. In which case, hide under the table – they’ll never know it was you. Your 2019 lucky streak is still holding on, especially where your chosen profession is concerned. During this time, you could benefit from play dates with a kindly senior doggo or someone in authority (just so you know whose butt to sniff). You’ll probably find that around mid-month, you’re more organized than usual. So, if you get the urge to clean out your crate and toy box, don’t be surprised.
Leo (July 21 – August 20)
The proud, fiery lion sign is all about friendships this month. Reconnect with old friends and be open to the cultivation of new ones. This goes for two-legs and four. You may pull in some questionable characters like that prissy Chihuahua down the street, or the neighbor’s tuxedo cat, but they come as teachers even though they aren’t aware of their role. Use the Golden Rule now - to be licked you must give licks.
Virgo (August 21 – September 20)
For the Virgo pup, philosophical encounters are your path this May. Be sure to choose to talk with some experts like the wise-whiskered Scottish terrier that looks like he should be smoking a pipe at the park. You are on a quest for truth. You can’t learn too much now, see too much, or travel too far. Just try not to make it Homeward Bound too far. What you will find are the scents and flavors that fill your furry head with joy and wonder. Share these truths with your human by gazing deeply into their eyes and engaging in telepathic transfer.
Libra (September 21 – October 20)
You’re a mouthy monsoon this month. Those around you will see you as a bombastic barker box with endless stamina. Your mind will be as sharp as the vet’s needle, and with all that energy available, you might even be able to come to an important decision (we all know how hard that is for Libras generally). When and if you do, it’ll probably be the right one. If your human takes you to a Memorial Day celebration, use your charm and good looks to get the fallen hot dogs and left over macaroni – don’t beg.
Scorpio (October 21 – November 20)
A marvelous planetary alignment for you this May, Scorpio doggos! This month is dedicated to PLAY! No more serious multi-nipple gazing for you; the time to run and jump and frolic in the fields of spring. The cosmic energies are just right and you will find playmates at home, in the park, and on the street. They may come as new friends, confidants, or even a new love interest. Reach out for the experience and regain that puppy-like glow.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
Sorry to say, my Sagittarian four legged friend, but there just isn’t much happening for you in May except a lot of petty annoyances. You may feel like strengthening some relationships within your home or neighborhood pack, but you’ll probably either piss somebody off or the other doggo will just be in the mood to give you an overstuffed poo bag. You just can’t seem to say the right thing, especially during the second half of the month. I’d say an argument with a more senior critter is on the menu during Memorial Day festivities unless you’re able to keep your mouth shut. Life will probably be no picnic for you.
Capricorn (December 21 – January 20)
Seek out a guru this month. You will recognize them as he or she will behave with considerable dignity and psychological fashion sense. And they will probably be smoking a pipe at the dog park with other earth sign doggos. You will find a level of friendship here that calls out to the inner puppy in you. In turn, this connection will allow you to play the guru role for someone younger or less experienced than yourself. Before the month is over, take a break; even a fire hydrant benefits from a change of scenery every once in a while.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 20)
Enjoy the first couple of days of the month while they last, because after that you’ll probably feel like everyone around you is trying to cramp your cool canine style. Your human will be under a lot of pressure from work and relationships, so that could lead to you feeling neglected. Some of you may feel like running away to a cave in the woods for a few days. But before you buy that bottle of pooch hooch and start slumming it, try to get a grip. Everyone loves you and soon enough you’ll feel it fully. Everything should start to get better by Memorial Day when deviled eggs and overcooked hamburgers tumble off the table into your waiting mouth.
Pisces (February 20 – March 20)
Things are looking so good for you Piscean pups this May you might just do the dingo dance around the maypole all month long. This is a great month for health, so no vet visits, shots, or teeth cleanings appear to be in your future. Things should go very smoothly for you and everything may seem to work out to your advantage because it always does for the Pisces. Just look at my sister Stella, she never gets in trouble for anything – life just comes sooooo easy for her. Jerk….
Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Your personal focus is as sharp as the neighbor cat’s claws this month. Family responsibilities and involvement may take you away from personal desires and plans such as digging a hole under the fence. Don’t struggle with unsettled nerves; you are actually at a point in which you can release some old puppyhood memory or trauma like those early days in the rescue shelter. The planets are aligned for healing for you.
Wishing All of You a Splendid Spring!
Peace & Paws,
Stella & Blanche
Missed last month's Pet Horoscope? Read it here!