Pet Horoscope - Scorpio 2018
Hello doggie disciples! It is us: The Great and Powerful Blanche and the Mystical Stella. Allow us to present your incredibly accurate November horoscopes. Ready? Ok…sit!
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)
Your tail may not have a stinger, but it is mighty and can be very destructive. Be careful this month around low tables filled with silly tall glasses that were MADE to be knocked over. Extra caution will be rewarded with pieces of something delicious called turkey.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
The water bowl is always half full for the Sagittarian pet. Enjoy this happy time where other kitties and canines and humans seem particularly glad to be around each other. Just watch out for the mini-toy humans who will want to pull your tail.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)
The most ambitious of all the signs will have a chance to climb many things this month. Stairs and laps and hills and fences are all yours for the scaling. Your feats will be noticed and you might win a spot on America's Next Top Doggo!
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
Aquarian animals' symbol is the Water Bearer, so this month return to your roots - hop into the first toilet bowl, yellow snow drift, or muddy puddle you can find and blow bubbles. Be sure to bring back a wet muzzle full of the stuff for your hooman, too; they love that!
PISCES (February 19-March 20)
Pisces pups have magical sensitivity. You know what your hooman wants before they do. You're one of the smartest of all the signs, just don't let on that know! We all see it's true - you have your hoomans well-trained. Keep them on a short leash!
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Aries pets are so curious and confident, they can find themselves getting into accidents and you may end up visiting the vet more than you would like! Stay safe this month, or you could be the next to wear - the CONE OF SHAME!
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
This month your hoomans will be eating lots of delicious, moist and meaty treats. Position yourself stubbornly like your sign, the Bull-Mastiff, under the edge of the family table and don't move, drippings will rain down upon you - have your tongue ready!
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
You are a split personality pupper, and that can lead to indecisiveness over the snack bowl. This month, throw caution to the wind - devour wet and dry food at the same time!
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
The homebody pet will love all the 2 and 4 legged guests that come over this month. Dazzle them with your superior hosting skills and November will be a month of belly rubs for you!
LEO (July 23-August 22)
As the Lion, you should practice roaring this month, but only when your hooman is away. The strange person who always brings papery things to your door will admire your talents especially.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22)
Let's face it, you're a pretty, pretty princess and you want everyone to know it. Strap on your favorite costume and go strut your stuff at the dog park - be the envy of all the other critters in the land.
LIBRA (September 23-October 22)
Libran critters are well-balanced and affectionate, but they don't like sharing. Try to buck the trend of you sign this month - share your squeaky toy with the obnoxious schnaueser next door, and make room on the bed for your hooman for a change.
Missed last month's Pet Horoscope? Read it here!